Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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