Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
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They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
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I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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