Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
