wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize