So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
