Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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