u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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