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Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
