I don't usually arrange sex via text message
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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