my sisters under your porch take her home
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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