from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize