Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
