idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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