I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
