Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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