Define "chronic" masturbator.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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