Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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