Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
