I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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