Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
