So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
