The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
