No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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