So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
