just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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