Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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