Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize