he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just had sex on a roof
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
