Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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