I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
