You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize