Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
be right there i have to get my cape
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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