Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We had to coat check the pizza.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
