That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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