did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
