Pants 0. Shit 1.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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