Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
