No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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