you traded sex for a burrito?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
