Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
