oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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