Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
