Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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