the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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