did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
