i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
