Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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