Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
