and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
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I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
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My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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