No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
