i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Randomize
