hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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