think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
