FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
