My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
