I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
