Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
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and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
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She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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