8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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