We need to rekindle our bromance
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I would ride that face into the sunset
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
