my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She tied me up with her honor cords...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
When did angry sex become our thing?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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