I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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