She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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