im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So much rum. So many feels.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
