Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
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