I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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