so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
