yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
