Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
