I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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